| Eek... |
[May. 23rd, 2009|09:43 pm] |
Haven't updated this thing in a while... xP Anyway, a lot of stuffs happened.
Taking the summer semester at my college, so I get to graduate with a useless associates degree 6 months earlier than most of the other degrees. And I'm dorming; a quad. I just found out we got a new room mate and I have no idea who this chick is. >>;;; Only one I can actually talk to and she's another GD major. The other is childcare major, and I swear she's stalking me. Just like some one I thought a friend is stalking me. -__- The guy wanted to date me at the beginning of the year, and now he won't leave me alone. What's worse, is he's dating and has had sex with a girl who is engaged to someone in Florida(who she's only met in person once.) I can't stand being around either of them because that act alone has made them both repulsive in my eyes.
Also, because Obama had a dee-de-dee moment on a bill he signed, damn ear 2/3rds of all the professors on campus were 'Let go' because they didn't have the credentials. If a masters degree or a PHD isn't enough qualifications, I have NO idea what is. Apparently its because they didn't have a liscence to teach or something like that. News flash; A lot of teachers don't have a liscence to teach. Why? Because to get the liscence, they need hours. Can't get hours without the liscence, and vise versa. Problem? I think so.
*sigh*
Still haven't found a job yet, and I'm half contemplating going back to market basket.
...Now that I've said that I need to wash my mouth out...X_x;;;
Anyway, couldn't go to AB, but I'm not really feeling very conventiony lately. Don't know why, but I've been more focused on classes than anime as of late. I has good grades but no life. >>;;; That and Rping. xD I have a program called Furcadia - It's a real time rp program where you make an animal avitar and you can walk it around multiple different worlds called dreams. You can make up all sorts of neat stories with the people you rp with, and whats neat is you can walk the avatar from one place to another and find a completely different rp going on. It's pretty cool.
And... yeah. That's pretty much it. Have an amazingly painful headache, am Rping and I feel like blah right now. xP |
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| lol |
[Jan. 30th, 2009|06:17 pm] |
| What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Artistic Nerd Whether it's painting, sewing, drawing, arts and crafts; or just splashing paint onto a canvas and calling it art; you mostly fit this description. Lots of people envy the artists, but be humble and keep working on it. There is a shortage of true artists today who actually contribute anything to society. | | Literature Nerd | | | Gamer/Computer Nerd | | | Anime Nerd | | | Musician | | | Social Nerd | | | Drama Nerd | | | Science/Math Nerd | | What Be Your Nerd Type?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz |
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| Parents suck |
[Jan. 10th, 2009|04:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Just Like You - 3 Days Grace | ] |
I have this suspicious feeling that my mom is hell bent on making my life miserable. I mean, it really doesn't send a pleasant message when your mother corners you for two plus hours over how she thinks your being a lazy, selfish bitch because you can't find a job. No matter how many times I told her I've been applying, looking, calling back and physically visiting, ultimately to get the same answers of "We aren't hiring", "We don't have availabilities for those hours", or "We'll keep you on file". So she decided to rant at me about how selfish I've been by having my dad pay for everything for me, despite my best efforts. I never wanted my dad to pay for anything. I never wanted to find out that my dad was tapped out for money, and she makes it seem like its my fault.
And throughout the entire conversation, she kept making these faces and using a tone of voice that was so obviously mocking I wanted to get up and punch her. She wouldn't believe me for a second, then, as if her mocking bitch fest wasn't bad enough, told me that I had no choice but to update her on what applications I've filled out, where I've applied to and how many every week.
2 in the morning, I run out of the apartment in tears cause she made me feel like dog shit. I stayed at Taisa's and fell asleep crying. I hate this so much! |
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| Hrm... |
[Jan. 5th, 2009|01:52 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  artistic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Still Doll - Kanon Wakeshima | ] |
Well. What to post. Classes are gonna be starting up again, and I really can't wait. >< I really wish I could dorm. I want out of my parents homes for a while...like..desperately want out. Anyway, I've been hanging out with Taisa a lot, no surprise there. XD We've been playing Left 4 Dead and kiling lots of zombies together. XD Lots of fun.
Christmas was okay, I suppose. I really don't look forward to mass holidays anymore. Presents are pointless to me. All I want is my family and thats practically nonexistent now. *sighs*
On a slightly happier note, I got to sleep over Taisa's on New Years. No champaign this time, thank god. >< It was fun though.
And yesterday I went over to chaosreigning's for an anime fest sleep over thing. XD I love Ouran High School. And Gundam 0 is epic cool. She showed me this cool rp group on LJ too, so Im gonna try to get in on that. Lord knows there aren't enough decent rp's out there anymore. ><;;;
And...yeah..thats pretty much it.
~ Ciao |
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| Tattoo. |
[Dec. 2nd, 2008|09:59 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | tattoo | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Blow Me Away - Breaking Benjamin | ] |
Sooooo.....this is my first, (and only) tattoo. Yeah, theres a story behind it. I love cats, and one of my favorites is the panther. I feel I can relate very easily to it. It's quiet, solitary, strong and protective.
The kanji represents my love for Japanese culture and I spent hours researching it to make sure the translation was right, and it means Guardian/Protector.
What makes me really happy about this tattoo was that I drew the entire thing. Took me an hour to draw and 45 minutes for the tattooist to put it on.
BUT... it hurt like a bitch. I hate needles with a passion and I almost passed out when the guy started doing the line art. It was worth it though.
XD XD
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| Damnit... |
[Nov. 21st, 2008|08:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | damnit | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | In the Shadows - The Rasmus | ] |
I am officially up shit creek.
The tests that th hospitals did all came up negative, but the problem fixed itself after a month and a half. But the bills are insane. The MRI is going to cost 100 something and the lumbar tap is about 40. I still havent gotten the bills for the blood work yet, but thats going to be 200 something each, and then the MRA is going to be 100 something as well. I have absolutly no money right now cause all of its been spent on car insurance and gas.
PLUS, i find out that the next bill for my college tuition, a 530 dollar payment that my dad makes to help out and he cant pay it this upcoming month because he had to help cover the medical bills.
Im not going to be able to continue classes unless i can get a job. And no ones hiring. Ive tried Walmart, Ive tried borders twice, A.C. Moore, Michaels and Barnes & Noble and none of them were hiring. I called and made in person visits and got nothing. I just put in a application to Game Stop and Im hoping to god I can get it.
I really need th money...im sick of having my dad help me with my money problems. Its not fair to him, especially since my mother wont help at all with anything. |
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| I feel unduly horrible after reading this... |
[Nov. 16th, 2008|09:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  -_-;;; | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Jeff Dunham Christmas Special | ] |
Stole it from chaos who stole it from...i dont know the list kind of exploded...@_@
You don't need anxiety and problems. All you really seek is a conflict free environment which can offer peace and mental security. You don't like the idea of being alone and, whatever the reason, at this time of your life you feel as if you are being 'left out'. What you really need is perhaps some 'tender loving care'.
You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image in the eyes of others. You are looking for acknowledgement from your peers and those who come into your sphere of influence. You want to be liked, not for what people think of you but for what you really are.
Compromise is the name of the game at this time and it is the only way you can avoid being deprived of the love and affection you so rightly deserve -so soften up a little, be flexible.
All of the stress and strains resulting from disappointment have led to agitation and anxiety. You have been going out of your way to make a good impression, but you have reservations as to the likelihood of succeeding. You feel that you have a right to accomplish all that you set your mind on but you have become helpless and distressed when circumstances have gone against you. The idea of failure is most upsetting and this can even mean utter dejection. You see yourself as a scapegoat and you feel everyone in your sphere of influence has tried to take undue advantage of you. You are trying to convince yourself that your failure to achieve standing and recognition is not of your making but indeed of those around you.
Since in the recent past all of your hopes and aspirations have been denied you, you are now convinced that the future will hold nothing but anxiety so therefore 'why bother?' You would love to get away from it all, to escape from the trials and tribulations of this mundane existence and fall into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, which will protect you from the lack of appreciation and give you the chance to start afresh. |
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| I am 112% obsessed with music. Is that possoble? |
[Nov. 16th, 2008|06:45 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | music | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | nashua | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hrm... | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Mummy Returns | ] |
I found this on Deviantart from a friends journal. XD
Put an 'x' If you have heard a song by this artist,
*Note: you may not like all of these people*x
ALTERNATIVE:
[X] Weezer
[x] Paramore
[X] Panic! At The Disco
[] October Fall
[] The Academy Is...
[] Coheed And Cambria
[] Bayside
[X] Yellowcard
[] Sugarcult
[] The Dresden Dolls
TOTAL SO FAR : 4
COUNTRY:
[X] Rascal Flatts
[X] Carrie Underwood
[X] Leanne Rhymes
[X] Garth Brooks
[X] Dixie Chicks
[X] Kenny Chesney
[x] Tim McGraw
[x] Faith Hill
[x] Shania Twain
[x] Johnny Cash
TOTAL SO FAR: 14
EMO:
[] Hawthorne Heights
[] Halifax
[] Forgive Durden
[] Amber Pacific
[x] The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (They're an emo band?)
[X] From First to Last
[] Senses Fail
[X] Underoath
[] Something Corporate
[] Hit the Lights
[] Dear Whoever
TOTAL SO FAR: 17
INDIE:
[] The Hush Sound
[] Eisley
[x] Death Cab for Cutie
[] Dashboard Confessional
[x] The Killers
[] Yeah Yeah Yeahs
[] Hot Hot Heat
[] Gym Class Heroes
[] Franz Ferdinand
[] Modest Mouse
TOTAL SO FAR: 19
METAL:
[x] Slipknot
[x] System of a Down
[x] Disturbed
[X] Metallica
[x] Guns n' Roses
[] Lamb of God
[x] Slayer
[] Hatebreed
[X] Killswitch Engage
TOTAL SO FAR: 26
POP:
[] Teddy Geiger
[] Ashlee Simpson
[x] Kelly Clarkson
[] Jesse McCartney
[x] Avril Lavigne
[x] Pink
[x] The Veronicas
[] Daniel Powter
[] James Blunt
[] Natasha Bedingfield
[] Ryan Cabrera
TOTAL SO FAR: 30
POWERPOP/POP PUNK/PUNK:
[x] Hellogoodbye
[] Cute is What We Aim for
[X] Cartel
[] The Click Five
[X] Fall Out boy
[] Lucky Boys Confusion
[x] Good Charlotte
[x] Bowling for Soup
[x] Relient K
[] Less Than Jake
[x] Simple Plan
TOTAL SO FAR: 37
RAP:
[] Ying Yang Twins
[] T.I.
[] Paul Wall
[] Tupac
[] Jamie Foxx
[X] Ludacris
[X] Lil' Jon
[] Outkast
[] 50 Cent
[X] Kanye West
[] Notorious B.I.G
[] Young Jeezy
TOTAL SO FAR: 40
SKA:
[] Reel Big Fish
[] The Specials
[] Mad Caddies
[] The Aquabats
[] Sublime
[] No Doubt
[] Madness
[] Operation Ivy
[] Bob Marley
TOTAL SO FAR: 40
ROCK:
[X] Taking Back Sunday
[x] All-American Rejects
[] Motion City Soundtrack
[] Avenged Sevenfold
[] Angels and Airwaves
[X] Evanescence
[x] My Chemical Romance
[] Brand New
[X] Green Day
[X] Blink 182
TOTAL SO FAR: 46
CLASSIC ROCK:
[x] The Beatles
[X] Led Zeppelin
[x] The Rolling Stones
[x] The Who
[x] Pink Floyd
[x] The Doors
[X] Jimmi Hendrix
[x] Queen
[X] Van Halen
[X] Bob Dylan
[] Simon & Garfunkel
TOTAL SO FAR: 56
Now multiply by two
and put "I Am _% Obsessed With Music" |
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| -_- |
[Nov. 8th, 2008|05:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | > | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Never Winter Nights 2 | ] |
Im still trying to fix everything,and I honestly dont know if its working at all... But...If anyone wants to come with me to the midnight showing of Twilight, leave a message? Ill drive.
And in other news...my laptop pretty much died kind of. Somehow the monitor cracked and I have a huge spiderweb on the screen. I'm afraid to use it cause I make one wrong move and it gets bigger. I have to look and see if I can even have it sent out and fixed. The systems a 10 year old Gateway laptop, but Gateway got bought out by the crappy company known as Acer. >< I had a hell of a time getting a new keyboard for it because of that fact, and with the system being a tablet instead of a regular laptop...*head desk* |
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| Its my fault. |
[Oct. 29th, 2008|10:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | When we Die - Bowling for Soup | ] |
All of this bullshit...its my fault. It took losing the one thing that meant the most to me to realize it...to realize finally that i've been hurting everyone including him. And I've been to blind and stupid and immature to realize it. I thought I was doing something right to help some one who hurt people more than helped...and i completely ignored the people that were always there. Chris...you were right...and im so sorry that...it took breaking up to realize it...that it took hurting you for the last time to make me see how much of an ass i've been...Im sorry...there aren't enough apologies in the world to prove that fact...
Scribbles...I know I hurt you a lot...no...thats an understatement...i stabbed you in the back and i had no right to do that...and you didnt deserve it...you never did... I know theres nothing I could ever do to make it up to you with how much I hurt you...that you have every right to feel betrayed and liied to. I shouldnt have gone behind your back and started talking to and visiting him. I should have realized how much it would have hurt you, no matter my intentions. I should have thought about you first... You were always there for me when I needed you...and i didnt have the common decency to do the same for you when you deserved it. Im sorry. Im sorry for ruining our friendship...Im sorry for betraying your trust. Im sorry.
Arra. I said things out of anger. I said things I didn't mean, and they hurt you. I had no right to do that. No right at all. I shouldn't have gotten so emotional over what was going on...I shouldn't have even been there. My bad choices got me involved when i shouldn't have and it ruined our friendship and the trust we had... I destroyed something that we had and i cant appologize enough to try and get it back.
I ruined something with my stupid decisions and choices. WE were a family...but i ruined it...because I didnt listen when I should have...I didnt respect my families feelings...and I hurt them deeply. You all did nothing to deserve what I did to you...nothing...and thinking back, i cant justify my actions anymore. There isnt a good enough reason other than i wasnt thinking aboout what my actions were going to do. I just wasnt thinking.
Im sorry...I am truly sorry. I know none of you have to say "Its okay.", or "We forgive you.". Theres no way i deserve it, and there aren't enough atonements in the world to make you all believe it. But im sorry. I am truly sorry.
Well, I know that it's early
And it's too hard to think
And the broken empty bottles
Are reminder in the sink
But I thought that I should tell you
If it's not to late to say
I could put back all the pieces,
They just might not fit the same
Nothing's worth losing
Especially the chance to make it right
And I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes
Are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die
Well, I know it's been years now,
And I don't look the same
And the hopes and dreams you had for me
You thought went down the drain.
And the room feels so empty
where my pictures used to be
And I can't say that I blame you,
But you can't blame me
Cuz nothing's worth losing
Especially the chance to make it right
And I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die
Come over
Come over
Cause I gotta know,
If I am doing this all on my own
Come over
Come over
How can I show you if you're not here
And I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes
Are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die
And I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes
are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die
Come over
Come over |
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| i hope everyones happy now |
[Oct. 29th, 2008|02:38 am] |
So congrats everyone. Because NO ONE can grow up and act mature, Chris and i are no longer dating! All because i apparently made some bad choices. So everyone wants an appology? Fine.
Scribbles. Im sorry that i went behind you back. I know you dont like him. He asked for help, i gave it. I went behind you back because I figured if you didnt know, you wouldnt get worried and you could focus on what you needed to for school and your family. Im sorry it didnt work out that way, and im sorry everything is fucked up now.
Arra. Im sorry everything got out of proportion. I just wish you had made yourself known earlier before I made responses without realizing it was you. Im sorry.
Lyiat. Im sorry for everything. For not being the person you wanted. For not being th same person you met in fifth grade. Im sorry Im a fucked up person to begin with. Im sorry I ruined everything for you. Im sorry I cant fix things without making them worse. Im sorry all i do is make you frustrated and angry. Im sorry I dont listen and dont beleive you. Im sorry i still hang on to that mistake when I shouldnt.
I would say im sorry for being born if that would fix all this... Hell...i would jump in front of a train if it would make all this go back to how it was.
Im sorry im not the person you all wanted. Im sorry i will never be that person. Im sorry. |
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| ><;;; |
[Oct. 25th, 2008|07:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | GRAA! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Fable II | ] |
I epicly hate my life. That complication of the spinal tap, the spinal migraines? I have it. Fuck my life! I stand, and my head starts pounding immediately. I lay down, it goes away. My luck, it lasts for four days, ill be stuck in bed and I have to miss two days of classes. shit shit shit! |
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| strike two. |
[Oct. 17th, 2008|07:42 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | mrv/mri | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Paranoid | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Its the End of the World - REM | ] |
The M.R.V. came out with nothing. No blood clot, no nothing, but i still have double vision with no explanation. The neurologist I've been seeing wants me to do another blood test and then a Lumbar Puncture. I need to stay still on a hospital bed for a fifteen minute procedure, and then play the statue game for three hours or be paralyzed from the waist down. Why do i need the Lumbar Tap? The Neurologist, whose name is as impossible to say as my own primary care doctors, thinks I have Pseudo Tumor Cerebri, a "False Brain Tumor" somewhere in my head. It cant be picked up by MRI or Cat scans, so the only way to see if you have it is to measure the pressure of the Cerebral spinal fluid, hence the Lumbar Tap. Apparently, if I have it, my body is making to much fluid and doesn't have the means to get rid of it. The only way to fix it if thats whats wrong is either lose weight, which Ive already been doing, drugs to relieve the pressure or surgery to install a shunt in the lower spine that will make the fluid drain into the body cavity. Im not looking forward to any of this.
I'm paranoid I'm going to move by accident when they do the tap and I'll be paralyzed.
I hate my life right now. like...EPICLY hate my life. |
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| *rants* |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|08:09 am] |
So the MRI came out bubcas... completely normal brain scan. But I still have double vision. Why? Dont have a clue. And neither do the Doctors. So a Neurologist sent me BACK to the MRI for an MRV which is a scan of the veins in my head and to have blood drawn. I almost passed out in the chair. Why? THinks I have a Blood Clot somewhere in my head.
If thats the case, it moves, I could have a stroke, or worse, end up with an aneurism. I just want this to be over. Im so sick of being a pin cusion and science expiriment I could kick a baby right now and not care. (no, i am not really serious about that...) |
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| MRI's |
[Oct. 3rd, 2008|08:40 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | mri | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  DAMN MY LIFE!! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Reba | ] |
For the record, MRI machines suck royally. I had to go to the hospital today because of the headaches I've been having. I had to go to an optometrist specialist, who deemed the headaches I've been having to be caused by inflamed nerves, and intra-cranial pressure. Meaning, the fluid in my head has built up so much that my rain is being smooshed, and the nerves in my neck, head and eyes are being squeezed.
That being said, MRI machines are a claustrophobics nightmare. I could breath, but I couldn't stop shaking. And to do the imaging, they had to give me this dye through an I.V. But they had a very hard time finding a damn vein.
I won't know what they found until about Monday or Tuesday, and then, I might have to go in again for a Lumbar Tap.
*screams and rants and breaks something* |
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| migraines suck |
[Sep. 26th, 2008|10:47 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | ow... | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | my moms cockatiel chirping annoyingly... | ] |
For the past two, now going on three weeks, I have had the suckiest migraines ever. ><
Its pissing me off to no end. I haven't been able to sleep all night because the head pounding, always on the left side, wakes me up in tears. Its gotten so bad that I cant focus on anything. Like my eyes are just...blargh. I see double of everything unless I close one eye and that gets annoying, not to mention dangerous when driving.
I originally thought it was my contacts. So I skipped out of classes, which REALLY pissed me off, to go to an optometrist. The doctor said my contact prescription changed slightly, but not enough to warrant a new set of lenses and that I've been straining my eyes with to much reading and drawing.
My worst fear comes to life. Stop drawing and reading so much. Problem is, most of my classes require a lot of both. SO I'm stuck, as we speak, using reading glasses, the kind you can buy at a pharmacy, all well and good, it softens things up and doesnt strain my eyes, but the headaches are worse when wearing the damn things.
I really dont know what to do right now. I'm afraid as hell to go to my primary care doctor cause Im afraid that its gonna be something wrong with my head, not my eyes.
Or, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, its due to my birth control and ill die in a fit of giggles and have to change what type I use.
*slams head on desk* as Jon Valentine from Hellsing once said, "Oh, fuck me..."
On a slightly more silly note, which I found utterly hilarious, I couldnt go to work last night cause I couldn't see, so I was stuck at Hesser from 4 to seven where I had passed out trying to do homework. And even more ironic, I found that laughing made the headache go away, so earlier, I was playing Apples to Apples with the gaming club. It worked for a while and then the headache came back before my last class. Which sucked...
I honestly have no idea how I got home from manchester to nashua without crashing the car.
O.o |
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| kick ass! |
[Aug. 24th, 2008|11:36 pm] |
Total frickin kick ass man! Theres the possibility of an OVA series for Full Metal Alchemist thats gonna be done by Bones Studios! Kicks ass man! From the Anime News Network Site, it sounds like it might follow the manga more closely than the originol t.v. series did. However, it was a leak of information and Bones won't comment on it very much...>> But I'm still gonna hope. XD XD XD
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2008-08-20/new-fullmetal-alchemist-tv-anime-series-confirmed
PLUS, Stephanie Meyers' series The Twilight Saga is being made into a movie, at least the first one Twilight is and the scheduled release date got jumped from December 12 to November 11! I cant wait cause it looks amazing!
http://www.twilightthemovie.com/ |
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| no comments |
[Aug. 10th, 2008|01:21 am] |
With everyone hating me I doubt anyone is going to bother reading this, but whatever. I am not going to apologize for doing what I felt was right by standing up for some one who hadn't done anything but set his own mind at ease. If doing that is a crime, then i should have been sent to prison a long time ago for sticking up for each and every one of you at one point in time or another. Who I associate myself is and should be of no concern to you and yours for it is my life and my decisions. Heaven forbid we all act independently of one another. Yes, I ASSOCIATE with Red. That does not mean I am his friend, but that does not mean I will ignore him if he has a problem and he asks for help. Maybe it is a fault of mine that I will permanently see the potential good in people, but I would rather have that as a fault and see good in people nine times out of ten than not even make an effort to try. Yes, he hurt people. Yes he did stupid things. But, news flash, we all do. And I will admit that my actions may have hurt you all, but thats because you are letting it.
So call me a traitor. Tell everyone that I have betrayed your trust. But know this: I would rather have betrayed you all than betray my beliefs and my heart. And thats the truth. Because with out my beliefs, I would be nothing and we never would have met to begin with.
...
But maybe that would have been for the best. Then none of you would have any problems and you could carry out your lives without a meddler. Cause thats all you all seem to think me as. And if thats your perception of me, then we probably should never have met.
None of you know or will ever know how much this bullshit has been hurting me. Do you think for one second that I have never told myself " I should go visit the guys" or "I should surprise them."? I have. I have just never had the time with all the crap I've been having to deal with.
And if thats not a good enough excuse, I don't know what is.
Me drawing too much? Thats my way of escaping my problems. Some people write, some sing, some people have sex. Its a way to escape frustration and too much emotion. I draw a lot because I have been having problems. Its one reason why a lot of my art has a lot of emotion behind it.Its my way of relieving stress without bothering people with my problems. But after all these years of knowing me, none of you had realized it? Whatever. It probably doesn't matter anymore. It probably wasn't even worth noticing.
With all my heart, I wish none of this had happened. With all my heart, I wish we were still friends. But with the way things stand, that won't happen again. And for that, I am sorry.
I guess apologies are probably useless by this point though.
I guess this is goodbye. I wish you all better fortune in the future, and better friends than those like me.
~ Jen |
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| See ya all in a week XD |
[Jul. 25th, 2008|10:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  XD | ] |
Well, I will see all you's guys in a week. Im going to Florida with my aunt. XD
You all get to see what I look like with a tan! >> If thats even possible. XD XD Later all. loves lots on you!
And thanks so much Scibbles for taking those hours. I owe you bigtime. XD |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 15th, 2008|11:38 pm] |
Yet again i screw up... And i wish i could blame it on PMS but thats not a viable exuse. It never has been.
I just wish I could go die but im too much of a coward to kill myself... And i keep wondering why I just stare at those bottles of pills every moring and do nothing to remove my stupidity from the world. No one deserves to be dragged down by dead weight and thats all i am.
*sighs* Im just not going to try any more. Its not worth it. THe trying of the fucked up one only screws with everyone elses lives and its not fair.
Hopefully if I remove the problem...everything will go back to how it was before... |
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